Monk's Book of Proverbs

Wit and humor...?


This is a book that Seelamin carries. He finds himself looking to it in times of trouble. How to use roll a d100 and read the corresponding phrase.


1. Flappy! Good news! I’ve decided not to kill you!
2. Oh, Hosanna! It’s the lesser of two evils!
3. It was a day like any other, except that it wasn’t because it was a Tuesday.
4. I attack the darkness!!!!
5. I want to steal his pants.
6. So…we’re in the forest, right?
7. I cast Magic Missile!!
8. I’m Seelamin: Professional Cannon Fodder
9. This is not a door. There is no reason for you to be scratching at it.
10. I’m a kitty!!!!
11. A fish always rots from the head down
12. A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind horse
13. A poor workman always blames his tools
14. All the world loves a lover
15. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
16. Better the Devil you know than the Devil you don’t
17. Cowards may die many times before their death
18. Crime doesn’t pay
19. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face
20. Familiarity breeds contempt
21. He who hesitates is lost
22. He who laughs last laughs longest
23. He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword
24. He who pays the piper calls the tune
25. He who sups with the Devil should have a long spoon
26. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
27. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty
28. History repeats itself
29. Home is where the heart is
30. If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen
31. If you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas
32. If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys
33. If you want a thing done well, do it yourself
34. Ignorance is bliss
35. It’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness
36. It’s better to travel hopefully than to arrive
37. It’s never too late
38. Let the dead bury the dead
39. Never speak ill of the dead
40. Nothing venture, nothing gain
41. Oil and water don’t mix
42. Old soldiers never die, they just fade away
43. Once a thief, always a thief
44. Once bitten, twice shy
45. One good turn deserves another
46. Talk of the Devil, and he is bound to appear
47. Tell the truth and shame the Devil
48. That which does not kill us makes us stronger
49. The age of miracles is past
50. Everything’s better with pirates!
51. He who stumbles around in darkness with a stick is blind. But he who… sticks out in darkness… is… fluorescent!
52. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh gods, yes.
53. Only in concealing one’s identity, can one truly be known.
54. The four elements, like man alone, are weak. But together they form the strong fifth element: boron.
55. And now begins the killing. Nodwick, wait here until we return.
56. Well, considering it is one of the holiest symbols of the church and that the cathedral is swarming with paladins, that would most likely be suicide. Go right ahead.
57. Wanna tune my mandolin?
58. What he said! Hail!
59. Just a general, all-purpose loathing
60. My, what fine yet rustic architecture. I think I will examine it more closely.
61. I feel dirty.
62. That would be a copyright infringement
63. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
64. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
65. It is foolish to deal with a fool.
66. One cannot quarrel without an opponent.
67. A wise man does not lose his way, a brave man does not fear.
68. That looks like it chafes…
69. To gamble as the dice fall.
70. The eyes are the mirror of the soul.
71. If eating poison finish up the plate
72. The eyes speak as much as the mouth.
73. Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
74. A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections.
75. I was angered, for I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet.
76. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
77. Blessings do not come in pairs; misfortunes never come singly.
78. Give a man a fish, and you feed him a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.
79. It is not the knowing that is difficult, but the doing.
80. A bad word whispered will echo a hundred miles.
81. The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water molds itself to the pitcher.
82. Small men think they are small; great men never know they are great.
83. To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
84. Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.
85. A man without a smiling face must not open shop.
86. Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.
87. Only he that has traveled the road knows where the holes are deep.
88. A drink precedes a story.
89. A friend’s eye is a good mirror.
90. A hen is heavy when carried far.
91. A hound’s food is in its legs.
92. A lock is better than suspicion.
93. A silent mouth is melodious.
94. A trade not properly learned is an enemy.
95. Age is honorable and youth is noble.
96. As the big hound is, so will the pup be.
97. Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy.
98. Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die.
99. Even a small thorn causes festering.
100. Good as drink is, it ends in thirst.

Monk's Book of Proverbs

Dragon's Arcana: Arc I Deznoir